#GLM

Courtesy: The Gallante I was rummaging through baby foods in the baby section of Target when I heard an interesting conversation between two ladies in the aisle across from where I was. African in accent and disposition I deduced since I am one myself. Having found the pureed sweet potatoes food I was looking for and of course, had heard enough gossip, it was time to head to check out. I smiled when I walked pass the ladies and they smiled back. The crux of the argument I eavesdropped on was that white men were better gentlemen than black men. They argued that on the average, white men displayed what was important about love, romance and commitment when in a relationship with you. Demonstrations a few black men interpret as vulnerability or even foolishness. So one concluded that in another life (if any) she will get married to a white man instead of another black brother…hilarious resolution. Anyway, I was thinking about their conversation as I hurried over to check out with...

‘Life begins at 40 ’ is an American catch phrase that became popular in 1933 after William Pitkin’s self-help book became the no. 1 bestselling nonfiction book in the U.S. It was written during the rapid increase in life expectancy from 40 years to 60 years and now it is 79 years in the U.S according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. This signified that people could look forward to happier and more fulfilling lives even past the age of 40 as long as they maintained a positive attitude and outlook on life. Courtesy: MM. Lafleur In recent times however, 40 is hardly an anticlimax of existence on planet earth. It has literally become the new age for ‘new beginnings’! Life really seems to begin at 40! New or better career, nicer apartment and car, more financial stability as well as more comfortable friends hence better hangouts, more independence etc. It is as though people actually start living when they approach or turn the age of 40. At age 40, ladies becom...

From sleepless nights, two hourly feeding, diaper change, special meal preparations, bottle washing, laundry, hospital appointments, engaging in developmental or educational activities to managing a career, doing house chores, grocery shopping and bill payments. The list is endless actually but we pretty much get the picture of the life of a single mom. She switches between roles within the twinkle of an eye. From serving as the father to being a mother, from teacher to listener, scolder to comforter, mom to friend. She barely has quiet moments and rarely has anyone to rely on when she is feeling lazy or sick. She has to constantly remain enthusiastic and energetic for her kids, yet maintain her enthusiasm for her boss and colleagues. She is forced to learn about all subjects, to help her kids with their assignments, including the most dreaded mathematics! She is a seamstress, cook, maid, gardener, driver, instructor, accountant, hair stylist and many more hidden roles. She is ...

I read an excerpt from the popular book 'Five Love Languages' authored by Dr. Gary Chapman and my...it was an interesting discovery. Apparently, we respond to and show love differently. An action that could be breathe taking to someone may just be an 'ok' gesture for another. It is no wonder people get frustrated in love relationships. You think you have done it all, expressed all the love required for a healthy relationship yet there remains so much anonymity and dissatisfaction in the air.  Gary Chapman explains that the frustrations remain because you are expressing your concept of love to your partner rather than understanding what love is to them and responding accordingly.  A simple way you can understand what love means to your partner is to observe how they express love, what they complain about in the relationship and what they request of their partners. As in communication, if there is no understanding between both parties, you would keep talking jus...

I mentioned in my last post that it was strange to discover that many women were still abused, yet kept it a secret; even from friends and family. But as I researched further, I came to understand that some are actually ignorant of the fact that they are in abusive relationships. So, as a build up to my last post, this post briefly highlights some oppressive signs to present pointers and perhaps help someone going through such. Some would wonder why I am passionate about the abuse of women…well of everyone, but I have a softer spot for women because in most cases, they are unable to defend themselves and worse, they are quickly blamed by the society as deserving of whatever woe befalls them. So I use this platform, where I have a little voice, to shout down the oppression of women with the hope that more people will join in this advocacy so we can see all women empowered and live freely!  Also because this can happen to anyone and in fact happens to a lot more than statist...

Can we create an atmosphere for people to freely ask for help? Can we stop being judgmental of someone who has lost her way and help guide them back to the right path…if we know it? Can women feel comfortable with sharing their problems with whomever they choose and not be condemned for it? I found myself mulling these questions over in my mind when I heard the appalling tales of women being abused and oppressed yet being secretive about their situations. First, there is a tale of a well read, relatively exposed husband, beating his wife with a belt! A good looking couple who most people would admire. A young couple who had barely been married for 3 years. Sadly, the lady chose not to share her domestic issues with friends or family until an incident was witnessed by a family member. I can’t but wonder why she chose to keep such a monstrous experience to herself. Perhaps for fear of being mocked or demeaned. It then got me thinking…despite all the awareness on ‘say no to...

A dreadful disease is making its rounds in Africa, Nigeria in particular. It is combing the territory and sweeping people up! The old and young, rich and poor, educated and illiterate, male, female or hermaphrodite. Let’s just say everyone! Let’s play a guessing game here – Is it Diabetes, HIV, Hepatitis, High blood pressure, Cancer, Malaria, Typhoid fever, Cholera, Meningitis, Asthma, Stroke, Paralysis, Swine flu, Bird flu, Ebola virus, Zika virus and so on. The list is endless! Funny…but so far, it’s none of the above and yet it’s such a killer that most obituaries state it as the cause of death. Did I hear you ask for statistics? Well, I have got none but considering the effect of the fastest killing disease, an evidence of statistics is highly irrelevant I dare say. I bet you will nod your head in agreement when you discover what it is. What is it called? Here goes – BRIEF OR PROTRACTED ILLNESS! That!... You say? Oh yes. Vague but powerfully dangerous. Think abou...

It is a phrase widely used but scarcely manifested else we ought to have more cheerful and helpful people in the world. Being thankful is such an important expression that in the United States, a day has been set aside in the year to just be thankful and spend this time with loved ones. In most churches around the world, at least one Sunday in the month is set aside for giving thanks because its value cannot be overstated. While it is good to honor these set dates and express maximum gratitude on such days, it is more rewarding to be thankful every day, all year round no matter what you are going through. Amy Morin, a psychotherapist wrote in Forbes magazine: ‘Cultivating gratitude doesn’t cost any money and it certainly doesn’t take much time but the benefits are uncountable!’ So, if you are still feeling unthankful …perhaps because you are frustrated with your job, a loved one, your health, your bank account (lol) and so on. Perhaps these few reasons will give you a bump...

Courtesy: Jason Wong (friendsoftype) I call it an art because it is hardly learnt. It is a display of affection that comes from the heart, mind and soul. It requires a multiple execution of roles (or multi-tasking as we say), with little or no training yet no room for errors. It requires creativity, aesthetic appreciation and lots of activity otherwise your children fall short. Now before you look away thinking… I am not a mom…yet… I want to lean into a scripture in the Bible that says: “Sing o barren, you who have never given birth! Break forth into joyful songs, You who have never been in labor. For more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married woman”. Do you care so much for another that you will be willing to sacrifice your time, money, energy and comfort for their own wellness? Do you go an extra mile to ensure that others are served? Do you constantly make adjustments to your lifestyle, schedule, goals and pursuits to provide a h...

Weird as it may sound…to get a step closer to your desires, consider embarking on a mission of helping someone else going through a similar situation or someone just going through a tough time in general. Courtesy: Eblogline Gordon B. Hinckley, an American religious leader and author wrote “the best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired”. It sounds ridiculous thinking about it considering the fact that we can’t give what we don’t have. We are literally broken, starting to doubt our abilities and have had our self-esteems trampled on when life throws some punches at us, but wise authors say your broken state is actually the best time to step out on a limb and look for someone to assist. Napoleon Hill, an American author and impresario also wrote: “It’s literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed. The world is filled with many ‘half empty’ people going through different tough times. ‘Half empty’ ...

Courtesy:  Play buzz I read an interesting piece written by Louise Hay titled 'Do you know how to love yourself'? In it she emphasized the importance of self-love over self-hate despite your current condition because love truly holds the key to healing and change. It sounds like a no-brainer right? I gave this some thought and actually realized that it's easier to focus on our imperfections and blame them for our stagnancy than to love our strengths & use them for our progress. A lot of people think it is condescending to appreciate themselves, emphasize what they are good at or that it is vain to feel good about themselves but they give no thought to selling themselves short. We actually think we are being modest or keeping it real by pinpointing our failures but have become overpowered by its weight and do not even realize.  Now, while it is wise to consider your weaknesses, but let it be only for the sake of dealing with them. So back to loving yours...

Should a girl be assertive or timid? Which is more attractive and who made the law on that conviction? I watched a TV show today and heard something interesting. In the 1940’s, a man would rather be bored with a timid wife than embarrassed by an assertive one who speaks her mind in public. So I guess it had long been entrenched into the fabrics of social behaviors and values that it now feels awkward for a girl to be assertive. Little girls learning to code (Courtesy: Colorlines) Young girls learning to code (Courtesy: Colorlines) A little girl between ages 3 and 5 years is bold when she speaks to anyone and confidently asks for what she wants or refutes what she doesn’t. She is intelligent, curious, creative and enthusiastic! She isn’t afraid to try out any subject or sport, ask questions in class, participate in the debate team or run for president of the class! As she grows older and becomes a teenager, she is cautioned about being too outspoken, baring her fe...

This is a subject that has always been dear to me because I believe more should be said and done about women under some kind of oppression in this modern age. It could be mental, emotional, physical, sexual, financial, social or otherwise. I want to use this platform to advocate this course with the hope that the world around us will cut the women in their lives some slack on the criticisms, accusations, insults and abuse. It is time to rise up and support them in every way possible because ‘Girls’ Lives Matter’. Courtesy: UNWomen Despite landmark agreements like ‘the Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action and ‘the Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW), millions of women and girls across the world are still being forced into early marriage, victims of domestic violence, sexually and verbally harassed, treated unfairly compared to men and many more. Even the United Nations has faced serious challenges in its efforts to promote ...