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Showing posts from 2017

Why are women angrier than men? With the spouses in particular.

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I decided to have a little fun with this subject and sent this question to a few women. I wanted to know if it was a false observation or perhaps, a thought that had a crossed the minds of women. The responses I got were both interesting and concerning. Interesting and hilarious in that, some women perceived men as overgrown babies that you can't help but squeal at occasionally. It was also concerning because some expressed frustration and disappointment in their spouses non-support, hence a tendency to snap at the littlest issue. Below is a rephrased version of some responses I got:  Women are often angrier because... Half the time, they are either scolding or cautioning the kids and basically see their spouses as an extension of the kids. In terms of the chores, the woman does basically everything and worse, some men have no idea what she is dealing with and even trivializes her efforts. A typical day in my life as a woman involves: waking up early, ensuring the

Women Empowerment: a myth debunked by women

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I call it a myth or fairy-tale if you prefer because it is a subject that is full of lovely pictures and promises yet most often stifled by the main characters of the story! Courtesy: Daily Times I particularly like an article written by Shaikh Abdul Rasheed for Daily Times titled: “Women Empowerment: A distant dream” . He mentions the importance of women taking up leadership and peacemaking roles if more women are to be liberated and empowered to access their rights. But he emphasizes the need for these representational women to be self-determined to make a difference. For example, In Pakistan, although women are given an appropriate representation in the National Assembly, it is just symbolic rather than effective. They have never been seen to take a firm stand against gender disparity or violence against women. A mother-in-law is the greatest judge of her son’s wife and sets unrealistic, unattainable benchmarks for the young lady to surmount before she can be deserving

Would you leave or stay?

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Alice texted me last week to say she was planning to move out of her matrimonial home. Alice was my childhood friend of about thirty years. She got married when we were twenty-four and had six children in the eight years of her marriage. We often teased her about wanting to give birth to an entire football squad!   With the text I received, it didn’t seem like a football joke anymore. I called her up immediately. “Alice, are you Ok?” I asked, my voice laced with concern. “Yes, I am but I’m just tired” She responded, sounding drained. “Would you like to talk?” I prompted. Responding in the affirmative, She went on to tell me of her recent disagreement with her husband, Philip. He wanted more kids! She went on to tell him that she was tired of being a housewife. She loved her kids but didn’t want more. She wanted to get a job and build a career. The discussion that barely began, ended in a heated argument.   “The worst part was when he said that it was not a negot

Back with a bang!

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Kudos to working moms! Well working parents in general because I have realized some fathers are very much hands on at home despite their busy work schedules! Helping out with the chores, preparing meals, caring for the kids or simply putting the house in order. I have been quiet because I became actively and fully employed! At first, I thought it was going to be easy to joggle.  Jumping up early in the morning (which I hadn't done for a while), getting my toddler ready for daycare, preparing and packing his meals, dropping him off, driving to and from the office which is in another city, being productive at the office (in a field completely new to me-IT & business continuity), heading back home to prepare dinner, tidying up and then get ting ready for bed. I was completely worn out after the first few weeks of joggling this routine that I kept day-dreaming about winning the powerball, so I could quit working completely! Well, I still dream about winning it even though I

LAUGHTER: Indeed the best medicine anyone can afford!

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As we celebrate International day of happiness today, I want to incite you to release your happy juices regardless of the circumstances you are going through. A simple way to get those juices flowing is through laughter! Yes, you heard me right. How does laughter make you happy you may ask? Well, read further and you will see some empirical backings to my advice. WHAT IS LAUGHTER? Making sounds and movements with your face that show that you are happy or think that something is funny. Therapeutic laughter is any intervention that promotes health by stimulating a playful discovery, expression or appreciation of the absurdity of life’s situations In 1964, Norman Cousins published his work, “Anatomy of an illness”. He was diagnosed with   ankylosing spondylitis , which is a crippling condition. He was given a 1 in 500 chance of recovery. Norman decided to infuse himself with his self-designed humor treatment and discovered that 15 minutes of steady laughter produced two ho

Parenting in a digital age...Cool or Cold?

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As a mom to an amazing, bubbly and often naughty 18 month old, I find myself torn between keeping up with TV shows like new episodes of Scandal or How To Get Away With Murder, the news feeds on Facebook, browsing through amazing posts on Instagram, surfing the internet for relevant information or putting all these aside to spend those cherished moments with my son. Just to enjoy hanging out with him or engaging him. Either by reading to him, kicking a ball around the house, running around with other kids at the Arcade, building Lego blocks or just playing good old peekaboo! It is so tempting to just strap him into his high-chair and thrust him behind a screen playing nursery rhymes all day, part of the perks of the digital age I must say. And then convince myself that they learn a few gestures and words from the rhymes, which in turn aids early communication. But not only does my son and similar kids get bored after a few minute

Ask, Seek and Mingle!

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I had a conversation with a friend a few weeks ago on the difficulty of finding a decent spouse. She compared the ordeal to looking for a needle in a haystack and we both laughed at the extreme analogy partly because it was an exaggeration but mainly because technically, there are more men in the world than women. Not a healthy difference, but significant enough to counter the anxiety of ‘men’ emptying out in the world. According to a recent human sex ratio report by the Central Intelligence Agency, there is an average of 107 boys/men to 100 girls/women. Now, whether these men are in your city or meet your criteria is another ball game. I want to attempt to jump the hurdle of even meeting and dating. So all I’m asking is that you keep an open mind and attempt these processes of mine in a quest to uncover all the ‘needles in the haystack’! Let’s start with ASKING. You can call it praying, but I want to strip it bare so you don’t make it overly spiritual and lose sight of my intended