#GLM

I decided to have a little fun with this subject and sent this question to a few women. I wanted to know if it was a false observation or perhaps, a thought that had a crossed the minds of women. The responses I got were both interesting and concerning. Interesting and hilarious in that, some women perceived men as overgrown babies that you can't help but squeal at occasionally. It was also concerning because some expressed frustration and disappointment in their spouses non-support, hence a tendency to snap at the littlest issue. Below is a rephrased version of some responses I got:  Women are often angrier because... Half the time, they are either scolding or cautioning the kids and basically see their spouses as an extension of the kids. In terms of the chores, the woman does basically everything and worse, some men have no idea what she is dealing with and even trivializes her efforts. A typical day in my life as a woman involves: waking up early, ensuring the ...

I call it a myth or fairy-tale if you prefer because it is a subject that is full of lovely pictures and promises yet most often stifled by the main characters of the story! Courtesy: Daily Times I particularly like an article written by Shaikh Abdul Rasheed for Daily Times titled: “Women Empowerment: A distant dream” . He mentions the importance of women taking up leadership and peacemaking roles if more women are to be liberated and empowered to access their rights. But he emphasizes the need for these representational women to be self-determined to make a difference. For example, In Pakistan, although women are given an appropriate representation in the National Assembly, it is just symbolic rather than effective. They have never been seen to take a firm stand against gender disparity or violence against women. A mother-in-law is the greatest judge of her son’s wife and sets unrealistic, unattainable benchmarks for the young lady to surmount before she can be deserving...

Alice texted me last week to say she was planning to move out of her matrimonial home. Alice was my childhood friend of about thirty years. She got married when we were twenty-four and had six children in the eight years of her marriage. We often teased her about wanting to give birth to an entire football squad!   With the text I received, it didn’t seem like a football joke anymore. I called her up immediately. “Alice, are you Ok?” I asked, my voice laced with concern. “Yes, I am but I’m just tired” She responded, sounding drained. “Would you like to talk?” I prompted. Responding in the affirmative, She went on to tell me of her recent disagreement with her husband, Philip. He wanted more kids! She went on to tell him that she was tired of being a housewife. She loved her kids but didn’t want more. She wanted to get a job and build a career. The discussion that barely began, ended in a heated argument.   “The worst part was when he said that it was no...

Kudos to working moms! Well working parents in general because I have realized some fathers are very much hands on at home despite their busy work schedules! Helping out with the chores, preparing meals, caring for the kids or simply putting the house in order. I have been quiet because I became actively and fully employed! At first, I thought it was going to be easy to joggle.  Jumping up early in the morning (which I hadn't done for a while), getting my toddler ready for daycare, preparing and packing his meals, dropping him off, driving to and from the office which is in another city, being productive at the office (in a field completely new to me-IT & business continuity), heading back home to prepare dinner, tidying up and then get ting ready for bed. I was completely worn out after the first few weeks of joggling this routine that I kept day-dreaming about winning the powerball, so I could quit working completely! Well, I still dream about winning it even though I...

As we celebrate International day of happiness today, I want to incite you to release your happy juices regardless of the circumstances you are going through. A simple way to get those juices flowing is through laughter! Yes, you heard me right. How does laughter make you happy you may ask? Well, read further and you will see some empirical backings to my advice. WHAT IS LAUGHTER? Making sounds and movements with your face that show that you are happy or think that something is funny. Therapeutic laughter is any intervention that promotes health by stimulating a playful discovery, expression or appreciation of the absurdity of life’s situations In 1964, Norman Cousins published his work, “Anatomy of an illness”. He was diagnosed with   ankylosing spondylitis , which is a crippling condition. He was given a 1 in 500 chance of recovery. Norman decided to infuse himself with his self-designed humor treatment and discovered that 15 minutes of steady laughter produced tw...

As a mom to an amazing, bubbly and often naughty 18 month old, I find myself torn between keeping up with TV shows like new episodes of Scandal or How To Get Away With Murder, the news feeds on Facebook, browsing through amazing posts on Instagram, surfing the internet for relevant information or putting all these aside to spend those cherished moments with my son. Just to enjoy hanging out with him or engaging him. Either by reading to him, kicking a ball around the house, running around with other kids at the Arcade, building Lego blocks or just playing good old peekaboo! It is so tempting to just strap him into his high-chair and thrust him behind a screen playing nursery rhymes all day, part of the perks of the digital age I must say. And then convince myself that they learn a few gestures and words from the rhymes, which in turn aids early communication. But not only does my son and similar kids get bored after a few minute...

I had a conversation with a friend a few weeks ago on the difficulty of finding a decent spouse. She compared the ordeal to looking for a needle in a haystack and we both laughed at the extreme analogy partly because it was an exaggeration but mainly because technically, there are more men in the world than women. Not a healthy difference, but significant enough to counter the anxiety of ‘men’ emptying out in the world. According to a recent human sex ratio report by the Central Intelligence Agency, there is an average of 107 boys/men to 100 girls/women. Now, whether these men are in your city or meet your criteria is another ball game. I want to attempt to jump the hurdle of even meeting and dating. So all I’m asking is that you keep an open mind and attempt these processes of mine in a quest to uncover all the ‘needles in the haystack’! Let’s start with ASKING. You can call it praying, but I want to strip it bare so you don’t make it overly spiritual and lose sight of my intended...

Courtesy: The Gallante I was rummaging through baby foods in the baby section of Target when I heard an interesting conversation between two ladies in the aisle across from where I was. African in accent and disposition I deduced since I am one myself. Having found the pureed sweet potatoes food I was looking for and of course, had heard enough gossip, it was time to head to check out. I smiled when I walked pass the ladies and they smiled back. The crux of the argument I eavesdropped on was that white men were better gentlemen than black men. They argued that on the average, white men displayed what was important about love, romance and commitment when in a relationship with you. Demonstrations a few black men interpret as vulnerability or even foolishness. So one concluded that in another life (if any) she will get married to a white man instead of another black brother…hilarious resolution. Anyway, I was thinking about their conversation as I hurried over to check out with...

‘Life begins at 40 ’ is an American catch phrase that became popular in 1933 after William Pitkin’s self-help book became the no. 1 bestselling nonfiction book in the U.S. It was written during the rapid increase in life expectancy from 40 years to 60 years and now it is 79 years in the U.S according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. This signified that people could look forward to happier and more fulfilling lives even past the age of 40 as long as they maintained a positive attitude and outlook on life. Courtesy: MM. Lafleur In recent times however, 40 is hardly an anticlimax of existence on planet earth. It has literally become the new age for ‘new beginnings’! Life really seems to begin at 40! New or better career, nicer apartment and car, more financial stability as well as more comfortable friends hence better hangouts, more independence etc. It is as though people actually start living when they approach or turn the age of 40. At age 40, ladies becom...

From sleepless nights, two hourly feeding, diaper change, special meal preparations, bottle washing, laundry, hospital appointments, engaging in developmental or educational activities to managing a career, doing house chores, grocery shopping and bill payments. The list is endless actually but we pretty much get the picture of the life of a single mom. She switches between roles within the twinkle of an eye. From serving as the father to being a mother, from teacher to listener, scolder to comforter, mom to friend. She barely has quiet moments and rarely has anyone to rely on when she is feeling lazy or sick. She has to constantly remain enthusiastic and energetic for her kids, yet maintain her enthusiasm for her boss and colleagues. She is forced to learn about all subjects, to help her kids with their assignments, including the most dreaded mathematics! She is a seamstress, cook, maid, gardener, driver, instructor, accountant, hair stylist and many more hidden roles. She is ...

I read an excerpt from the popular book 'Five Love Languages' authored by Dr. Gary Chapman and my...it was an interesting discovery. Apparently, we respond to and show love differently. An action that could be breathe taking to someone may just be an 'ok' gesture for another. It is no wonder people get frustrated in love relationships. You think you have done it all, expressed all the love required for a healthy relationship yet there remains so much anonymity and dissatisfaction in the air.  Gary Chapman explains that the frustrations remain because you are expressing your concept of love to your partner rather than understanding what love is to them and responding accordingly.  A simple way you can understand what love means to your partner is to observe how they express love, what they complain about in the relationship and what they request of their partners. As in communication, if there is no understanding between both parties, you would keep talking jus...

I mentioned in my last post that it was strange to discover that many women were still abused, yet kept it a secret; even from friends and family. But as I researched further, I came to understand that some are actually ignorant of the fact that they are in abusive relationships. So, as a build up to my last post, this post briefly highlights some oppressive signs to present pointers and perhaps help someone going through such. Some would wonder why I am passionate about the abuse of women…well of everyone, but I have a softer spot for women because in most cases, they are unable to defend themselves and worse, they are quickly blamed by the society as deserving of whatever woe befalls them. So I use this platform, where I have a little voice, to shout down the oppression of women with the hope that more people will join in this advocacy so we can see all women empowered and live freely!  Also because this can happen to anyone and in fact happens to a lot more than statist...